Dawson Asshat Leery
I recently watched the episode where Joey gets mugged by some guy who then gets hit by a car and dies. Joey meets his daughter and tells her that her dad saved her (Joey) by pushing her (Joey again) out of the way of a car. That of course, was a lie. It was a wonderful, beautiful lie, and I thought that was lovely. But eventually that girl will know what a...dick weasel (can't use ass hat again) her father was. She will love him still, and may think of him fondly, but she will also feel horrified and hurt by her father's behavior that she was not even privy to. I'm not saying tell her the whole gritty truth at four, but maybe let's not make up that her father's something he's not.
Superman. Your father is not Superman.
Kids already romanticize their parents (idealize would also work) no matter what. I know kids who's mothers sleep with men openly to get rent money. They do drugs and get arrested in front of them. They abuse them. But you say one bad thing about their parents and they will knock you out. They will never hear a single thing against their parents. They will say horrible things about their parents. But they will always love them. They will always think their parents are perfect. Kids will think their parents are great without people telling making up heroic stories.
People need to be honest with kids, and then the kid will make the decision later what their opinion is. Hiding the facts from a kid is nice, and can sometimes be necessary, at least some details. But hiding too long and making up stories can be detrimental. I remember when I was disillusioned. I felt awful. I felt deceived. I learned not to idealize anyone. And I cut my losses.
Me fighting Fake Superman.
It may be a beautiful lie, but it's not always right.
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